they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
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he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
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I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize