fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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