What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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