Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
