you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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