i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
