Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
