She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
