Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
