haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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