i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
