Me too!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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