Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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