I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
