Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
