worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
So. Much. Porn.
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