well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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