I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
