Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize