Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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