im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She's the barista slut.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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