too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Be still, my beating vagina.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
