Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is an emotional support booty call
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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