i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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