dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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