You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
