I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
