Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize