Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
