I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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