used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
