I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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