I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
