Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
