I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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