but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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