I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
nutella sex= disaster
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
