I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
how do you play pong handcuffed?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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