you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
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getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
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Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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