I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
