Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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