awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm sobbing to NWA
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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