So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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