I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
