He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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