Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
