i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
