I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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