it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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