Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
