in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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