I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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