yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
