Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
