No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Sext me about skeletons
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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