If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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