You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
