are you so shy because you have an std?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
