I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
