we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
