Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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