Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
